Back in February, I stepped onto The Scales. I weighed in at 15 stone 4 pounds. Now then, according to the healthy weight chart over at the NHS Live Well site (here), for a man who stands around 5' 10", I'm obese at that weight. In the lighter end of the obese range, but obese never the less.
I weighed myself again yesterday (28/10/13), and came in at 15 stone 5 pounds, a net gain of a pound. Ordinarily, this isn't something to be happy about, but in this case I am and here's why. In my last blog post I may have mentioned how I had basically sat on my arse for the last few months, all exercise cast aside. What I didn't mention, was that last month I weighed myself also. I was 15 stone 10 pounds. So, while since February I have gained a pound overall, in the last month I have lost 5 pounds, and am beginning to head back in the right direction. Next on the agenda is to get back under 15 stone.
According to that chart in the link above, a healthy weight for someone my height should be somewhere between 9 and a bit to 12 and a half stone. I assume this is based on healthy people who have never discovered the joyous feeling of eating bacon. Poor bastards.
Anyway, that's enough discussion regarding weight and I have no intention of bringing it up again for some time.
Final thought on the matter: for anyone who wants to know how I managed to lose 5 pounds in little under a month, I simply ate less crappy food and snacks, while maintaining my daily poo amounts. Science!
So then, The last post I made on this blog was back in April and frankly, that tells you everything you need to know about my willpower and ability to motivate myself. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, they used mine to tarmac over it and upgrade it to a highway.
I start things. I always start things. I'm good at that. What I'm not so good at, is then seeing those things through to completion. When I started this blog I had also started to exercise more. Both of those activities have lapsed in the intervening time between the last entry and this, always with the intention of "picking it back up tomorrow". That's the thing with tomorrow though: it's never today.
This was all brought into sharp focus the other day, when the postman delivered my bundle of shame. My entry pack for a 10K run I had entered all those months back when I started out. When there was more than enough time to get a reasonable level of fitness. Now, with less than a couple of weeks to the start of that race, I look at it and know there is no way I will be at the starting line, let alone the finish line. I haven't ran in months, nor taken any other form of exercise. I look at the pack and realise again what I've known all along: when you don't hold yourself to a high standard, you can't let yourself down. I've come to accept giving in as a fundamental part of me.
I'd like to change that.
So, I'm going to try again. Whether I keep going this time, I don't know. I wont know until one of two things has happened. Either I'll realise that I've stopped again, or maybe I'll realise I'm still going. I don't know which, though if I'm honest, the strong money is on the former of the two. That's how the form guide lists me and to deny it is to lie. Still, you never know how things will turn out until they happen.
OK, so probably not quite with a vengeance, but I have returned to it. If you look at the time gap between this post and the last, you should be able to work out I've not really done too much in the intervening time. I could blame work commitments (my shifts were a pain in the arse), etc, but in reality blaming it on self indulgant lazyness is closer to the mark.
I only managed to go along to the gym once last week. I did feel suitably guilty about this though, if that makes you feel any better. This week I've went back and decided just to stick to the C25K that I was doing before I joined the gym. Once I'm more comfortable with this running malarky I'll work the gym routine they gave me in around this (the more astute readers may notice I change my exercise plans more often than Kerry Katona (sp?) changes addictions). Since I've not gone entirely without some for of exercise, I decided to jump back in at the same point I left off - week 3. Loaded up the podcast, started up the treadmill, and away I went. You know what? Wasn't as difficult as I expected. That was Monday night. Went back on Wednesday night for week 3, run 2. A little bit harder, but again, not as tough as expected. I may be getting the hang of this. We'll see tomorrow morning when I head along again for week 3 run 3.
I guess what that shows is that although you may not notice the change at first, it starts to creep up on you, and you get a little bit fitter each time without realising it. Happy days. Looking back at the first blog post where I described myself as a wheezy mess, I realise that I'm still a wheezy mess, but it takes longer to get that way and I recover a lot quicker. I'm still not in a position where I can comfortably run for extended periods of time, but I can definately see the improvements and that helps to realise that I'll get there in the end.
Marathons and suchlike
More experienced and smarter people will have touched on this in better read and more thought out blogs than mine, but in the aftermath of the Boston Marathon, and unfolding drama that followed, I sometimes wish that Rufus had been right. It's times like this that the world could do with Wyld Stallyns bringing peace and uniting us all under the banner of rock music. I'm not trying to make light of the situation by any means, but there's an awful lot of folk on this planet could do with "being excellent to each other".
Gym is an abreviation of the word "gymnasium", which comes to us, like many things, from Greece in days of yore. It means something along the lines of "place to be naked". Now, for those of you of a literal disposition, do NOT take this at face value. Apparently it's entirely unacceptable to stroll around these places au naturale and any attempts to point out that you are merely adhering to the very definition of the name will be regarded with contempt by members of your local constabulary. Now luckily, I am occasionaly blessed with the gift of foresight, and so carried out some brief research into what is expected before I went along, but I thought I'd just provide this quick advice to those of you without the time to check on these matters, or who would just blindly stumble along and find out your social faux pas after the fact. Don't say you haven't been warned.
Onto those visits themselves then. I have now been along to the premises three times so far. The first two visits consisted of brief induction sessions. The first giving an overview of the various cardio type machines, the second giving a lesson in self torture via various machines based around the premise of lifting, pulling or pushing of weights. Each of these sessions lasted half an hour to 45 minutes at a guess, and neither consisted of any form of particularly strenuous work out, so I had a 20 minute go of the treadmills after each.
The third session I was to be provided with a "routine". I arrived to be greeted by one of the instructors who started to lay out a work out plan for me to try and follow.
"Is there anything you don't particularly like?" he asked. 'Ah good', thought I, a reasonable chap who understands I should enjoy my time spent honing my body to physical mediocrity. Blindly did I stroll into the trap.
"I really can't stand the rowing machine" I answered, joy and hope shining in my eyes no doubt.
"Good," came the response, "first thing when you arrive, you're doing five minutes on the rowing machine to warm up. It'll get your mind into gym mode and get rid of all that outside world nonsense." The rest of the program was made up in quick order, a mix of cardio and weighty stuff.
The joy and hope died then. "Now, how many times are you planning to use the gym?" "Two or three times a week" I replied, a bit more wary by now.
"You're going to do this program three times a week. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays you don't need to do this. Just come in and spend an hour on one of the cardio machines. You can have Sundays off though,"
I can only assume the man had once wanted to become a PE teacher, as all of this was delivered with the earnest, vindictive glint of the eye common within that profession*.
Now, six days of actual factual exercise per week is a wildly optomistic expection of someone with my levels of current fitness and aptitude for malaise, and realistically it's just not going to happen. You know what though, I'll give it a bash. Now, I don't man I'm going to be in that gym six days a week. I'll try and get there at least four or five though. Starting from a long period of virtually no exercise I can only guess that day after dayof physical activity, without rest between, could end up causing some damage, but we'll see how I get on.
Anyway, time to stop bothering the world with drivel and go tidy my domicile.
Have fun.
Notes: *this evil glint may have been entirely fictionalised after the fact, but I wouldn't be surprised if it had been true
So then, the joys of springtime in Scotland for someone starting out on a course of exercise. You get up in the morning, have a look out and realise it has snowed again. I've read several people on forums and blogs elsewhere talking about how refreshing and nice it is to get out and run in fresh snow. These people are fit. These people are the enemy. OK, they're not the enemy, and many of them are very friendly and encouraging, but I bet they're secretly out there, frolicking through the snow, feeling smug.
In the past two weeks, I've managed a total of two runs. I think you could safely call that a setback to my grand plans of gaining fitness. Similar to the last couple of posts, the weather hasn't particularly helped with my efforts (or lack there of), and also, my get up and go, got up and went. I got lazy. Now, granted this week has been spent on holiday (didn't go anywhere for the curious, just didn't go to work) and this entitles me to a certain degree of lazy idleness. I have made full use of this entitlement and definately got my monies worth.
So, we come around to the whole point of the last blog post again, and I quote "I'm joining the gym".
Actually, we can now move that into the past tense. I've joined the gym. I went along this morning and signed up, and I've got my induction on Monday. I could probably have arranged it for sooner, but figured I might as well get all the laziness out of me over the weekend. I think, I'll get the induction period over, then return to the running program. Had a bit of a tour of the facilities today. The equipment all looks like it will do the trick. Not entirely sure what some of it is, but there you go. Cardio equipment upstairs, weights downstairs, free weights in a seperate room.
I'll not be going in there. Ever.
And no, I don't lift.
Anyhoo, since I've gotten into the habit of chucking a song onto the end of this gibberish now, here's the latest one:
Trivia fact of the week:
I spent roughly 15 years where one of my biggest regrets was never seeing the Foo Fighters. Until I realised I had seen them at Donnington in 96. Memory is terrible when you were pished.
Second week in a row with very little effort to show for it. Got up on Monday, early doors, and went out for a run, but I haven't been out since then. Woke up early today, looked out the window, and went back to bed. Snowing again. It may be too late in the year now to quote Game Of Thrones and say that "winter is coming", but it sure as hell doesn't seem to be in a hurry to go away again.
This leads me to the decision I've taken:
I'm joining the gym.
You can all stop laughing now. Frankly, it's the only sensible option. I just don't have the fitness levels to be outside toiling away through blizzards. I'm struggling to run in nice(ish) weather at the moment. Plus, I live about 300 yards away from one of South Lanarkshire Council's fine establishments. I say, fine, this is an assumption though as I've not been along yet. It could be a rat infested shithole for all I actually know, although, running away from rats could serve as a decent form of motivation. I'm assuming it's fine though.
I recently took Sky Sports and Movies off my cable package, so the money saved from that can fund the gymness. Money previously spent watching other people run, will now fund me to get off my arse and do it for myself. That's logic youngsters.
I'm off work on a weeks holiday next week, so among the many grand schemes I shall have on the go, will be the whole going along and signing my life away taking out a gym membership. Previous experience of gyms brings memories of overly fit instructors trying to force you onto the various torture devices one after the other, so I expect a large part of my first visit will consist of finding polite ways to tell them to bugger off as I just want a go of the treadmills since it's pissing down outside. Sure, maybe later down the line I'll try out the myriad of other fun ways to make yourself hurt, but just now I think I'll stick to the basics. Baby steps and that.
Anyway, continuing my recent trend of gratuitous music videos, here's another one:
This week has been a bit of a let down. I was working early all week, so set the alarm clock even earlier. Monday morning, 5:30am, the alarm goes off, I get up, look out the window, go back to bed. Bloody snow. Tuesday wasn't much better when I woke up again.
Wednesday I didn't even try.
Thursday was just a write off. I woke up around 2.30am, tried to get back to sleep, failed, and by the time I had planned to go out and have a run, I was far too tired for anything. By the time I started my work at 8:30am, I'd already been awake for around 6 hours and was expecting lunch already. By the time I'd finished work I was ready to go to bed, but couldn't or I'd just end up waking up at stupid o'clock again. Smashing.
Friday morning was about eking out as much sleep before work as possible.
I feel quite bad that I've not been out trying to run so far this week, and that in itself is a vast improvement on my outlook. I'm naturally a lazy bastard, so the fact that I've not tried to exercise is bothering me is definately a sign of progress. Or the apocalypse. One or the other.
Incidentally, regarding the snow: why is it mostly people in 4x4s who are incapable of driving in it? Get a bloody grip and learn to use your vehicle properly. If you insist on owning one of these non essesntial bastards (in an urban environment, obviously they can be essential in some places), then figure out how the damn thing works. This is Scotland, not Norway, it's only a couple of inches of snow. Don't get me started on the news reporting on the snow "chaos" down south either. If it doesnt come over the top of a pair of trainers, then you've no excuses.
Confession Time
The attempt to go an entire month without ordering pizza has been a failure. I know, you're not angry, just disappointed. Or don't really care. Sometimes you come home from work of an evening and just can't face cooking though, and damn it was tasty. And half price, which helped a lot. Still, I'm well down on my usual monthly pizza quota, so I'm still ahead on average.
Anyhoo, the plan is now to get up early tomorrow (Saturday) and get at least one attempt at exercise in before the week is over. I'm off to bed.
So then, I'm writing this after my second run this week, and the first I've done on a new running schedule. The breakdown that appears on my first post is out the window, and I've opted instead to switch to the NHS Couch to 5K routine. There are a few reasons for this, but the main ones are:
it's got a proven track record of getting people up and running
there's free podcasts to listen to as you run which sort all your timing out for you, leading to...
no more fannying about with my watch, in the dark, with gloves on.
One thing to note about the actual podcast though. Previous running soundtracks I have made to run to have featured mostly rock, punk, some metal & industrial, and 80s pop (yes, 80's pop. That's when I grew up, and it's the soundtrack of my childhood, so bugger off and stop judging :p I've had bloody Ultravox stuck in my head for three days solid now mind you). The music on these is your standard shopping mall generic dancey pop. Not my taste at all, but inoffensive in it's own way. Beats mucking around trying to see my watch though.
Music aside, an awful LOT of folk have used this series to get up and out, so it seems to work, and that's why I'm making the switch to it. In addition, the actual run's themselves are quite varied and give a good build up, so there we go. Have a look. I'm going to jump in at week 3 on it and see how I get on with that, as I'm in the extended week 2 of the previous schedule. If necessary (looking at run 3, week 5) I'll redo individual weeks until my fitness improves. I really don't remember this running stuff being as difficult when I was wee.
Other things to note this time around:
It's now almost 2 whole weeks since payday, and I've managed to avoid ordering a pizza. It's killing me though. I'm lazy and willpower is not one of my strongpoints.
The Walking Dead just gets better and better. I'm pretty much convinced that zombie apocalypse is how the world will eventually end, and this running stuff ties in nicely to that. I do not want to be lunch. Rule no. 1 people - Cardio.
The famous words of Yoda, Jedi Master, inspiration to the galaxy at large. I was reading an article in the Guardian's running blog about documentaries, and that prompted me to watch a film called 'Spirit of the Marathon' which follows some runners, of various level of ability, as they build up to running the Chicago Marathon. Now, first and foremost, even if you don't like running it's a pretty good film, and I recommend giving it a watch. Secondly, in it one of the people (I don't want to call them characters) discusses his attitude towards running a marathon, and says that the only real failure is in not trying in the first place. Contradicting everything I learned from Yoda. Turns out there is 'try' after all. Worldview - shattered. This got me thinking about Yoda's words in the first place. I grew up watching Star Wars. I'll make no secret of the fact I'm a big geek. What if after all this time, my lazy outlook is because Yoda has instilled in me an attitude to not even try if I don't think I can do something? Turns out Yoda was a bit of a dick. Don't worry, nerd police, I'm not being serious. You don't have to confiscate my geek card.
On to other matters then. This has not been a good week for my new found life as a born again runner. I've only been out for my second run of the week today, and have been feeling pretty run down and tired all week. I have a suspicion that this can be linked directly to my shift pattern this week though, as I've been working back shifts, finishing at 10pm all week. The other option of course is that it's just my overall fitness level being akin to that of a blancmange. Whenever I'm on these shifts I never seem to eat proper meals, existing on a diet mostly consisting of sandwiches. Due to this, my week two running schedule will be extended another week, as I'd already been thinking of doing, and mentioned in the previous blog. With an overall aim of improving general fitness, and the only organised run I've (ever) entered being in October, I can afford to take my time with building up my running times.
So far I've written a new entry every time I've ventured out for a run. I'm like that in the early days of anything, excitable and with a "look at what I can do" approach, much like a four year old child that has learned to burp on command. Going forward, that'll probably be dialled back a bit to maybe one or two posts a week. Let's be honest, if it is overdone, that figurative four year old becomes tiresome and stops getting invited to parties.
This week started slowly. A rest day on Monday following Sunday's run, and then another (sort of) rest day on Tuesday. Tuesday wasn't meant to be a rest day as such, but I forgot to turn my alarm back on (back shifts this week) and slept right through to daylight. Don't get me wrong, I had plenty of time to fit a run in before work but there are certain conditions I like to run in at the moment. What I mean by this is darkness. Frankly I'd rather be a bit fitter before I'm running in conditions where people can actually see me so no morning run for Ally.
On to the actual run itself then. I should just point out that the title of this thrill filled installment isn't a metaphor or anything fancy like that, just a meteorological observation. It was indeed a bit foggy. Still, got up, gubbed a few jelly babies for a pre breakfast snack, and out the door I went, for week two, run one. According to the schedule I'm trying to follow that means equal three minute intervals of walking and running. I started off well and managed the first three minutes fairly easily. By the last two periods of running though my muscles were aching and I only ran 2 minutes on the final part. We'll call it week one and a half. I'll see how I get on with friday's (planned) run. If it's the same, then I can always extend the week 2 schedule into next week until I'm comfy with it.
Other bits and bobs...
I'm thinking of trying out some of those running leggingy things. Last week in a dry cold I was fine in a pair of long shorts, but today in the fog I was freezing.
I weighed myself this week for the first time in ages. 15 stone 4. I've put on a stone in the last year and a half (roughly equivalent to the time I started my current job, with all it's sitting around), so this whole exercise malarky is definately required.
As a 36 year old adult, let me just say that Adventure Time is one of the best cartoons I've seen in ages.
So then, Sunday, the day of rest, the day in which people are supposed to relax, watch sports, have a nice dinner. The day in which I got out my bed at 6.10am. If I hadn't, if I'd left it until later, I likely wouldn't have made it out the door. I'm like that. If I don't do something immediately, I'll put it off and put it off until I get to the point it's too late to do anything that day. Hence, even on a Sunday, the alarm went off at six (I may have used the snooze a little bit, but only once. More than that and I'd be there for the day).
Now before talking about the actual run, let's just discuss some important details about the previous evening preparations. As part of this whole runny around thing, I'm trying to cut down on my snacking as well. Watching Man Vs. Food does not help with that process. Dammit Adam, here I am, trying not to fill my body with crap (well, not too much crap, do biscuits count as crap? They're probably good for you. I'm convinced Chocolate Hob Nobs count towards a healthy diet since they're practically porridge) and there you are, whispering to me from the telly. 'Look at the massive pizza Ally.' 'You want these chicken wings Ally, don't you?' Begone foul (fowl) temptress! Luckily, I managed to resist temptation (I had feck all in the cupboard). Incidentally, why the hell would anyone eat something (you know, put it inside with all your delicate internal organs), if you've had to wear gloves just to touch the damn thing in the first place? Crazy.
So this morning's run then. Similar to the previous run, I was managing to get my breath back a bit quicker in between each running phase. As before, I have no scientific proof to back this up, but it just feels that way. My muscles ache a bit more this time around, particularly the thighs. This probably isn't new to anyone that's been doing this type of thing (exercise) for a while, but it's new to me. Still, since there was only one day between runs this time, I guess it was to be expected. I left it two days last time around (mostly due to being sleepy), so the muscles had less of a chance to recover this time.
There are still a couple of things I need to work on. First of all, my breathing. I'm a chronic mouth breather as soon as I start any form of exercise, and need to work on that whole 'in through the nose and out through the mouth' thing I've heard so much about and which is supposed to be wonderfull. The other thing that I still need to figure out is the pace I'm actually running at, and trying to maintain a steady speed I guess. I also have a sneaky suspicion that both things could be linked.
I've come to the end of the first week of the schedule, so next time out I should be upping the running to three minutes at a time. Not really sure I'm ready for that, but not going to improve without exerting myself either. I'll see how I get on.
Out of bed, shorts on, ipod on, go for a 'run'. I use the word run again and will continue to do so with a sense of expectant optimism, but obviously now that we know my fitness level from the first expedition, that term is applied loosely, and only to parts of the venture. Anyway, as Shackleton famously stated (possibly, though I should point out this is entirely speculative on my part) when setting foot on Antarctica, 'Bloody hell! It's chuffing freezing!' And so it was.
Anyway, I've only gone and done it again. The actual excersise itself felt slightly easier this time around. I expect that may only be imaginary though. The main trouble I had today was just making myself get out of bed. The alarm went off at 6am, and I immediately awoke, switched it off, and began trying to convince myself that things would be better if I just went back to sleep (important distinction here children: short term, things would be better, long term probably not as much; we're playing the long game here). The voice in my head soothingly saying 'Go back to sleep, Ally'. I imagine the voice now to have sounded like HAL from 2001, you know, the same voice you imagine Facebook has when you log in and see that little 'How are you feeling, Ally?' message. Not that I'm comparing Facebook to the murderous computer in 2001. That comparison doesn't bare up in any way. No, given it's spread across the world, the Cyberdyne Skynet model is a far more apt comparison, and just in case it sends any futuristic cyborg minions after me let me just express my adoration of our mechanical overlords.
I seem to have diverged a little. As I was saying, the excersise today did seem a little easier. It was the third period of running before I felt completely fecked today, as opposed to the second on Monday (see Chapter 1 for schedule).
Other things of note from this morning:
development of a good playlist continues apace. 'Death or Glory' by the Clash is pretty good to run along to. 'Living Thing' by ELO, not so much (not quite as fast a tempo as I'd thought, a bit ploddy).
Anyway, onwards and upwards. Well, not so much upwards, as more onwards again, but you get the drift.
So then, having decided to improve my fitness, mood, and general all round well being through the miracle heal-all method of running several weeks ago, I finally got out of bed and strapped on my running shoes today. The alarm went off at 6am, and for the first time I managed to resist the siren call of the snooze button. Out of bed, shorts on, ipod on, go for a run.
Now I know the image you have in your head of me. A lean figure, striding manfully through the pre dawn blackness. The reality is not too far off, though there are some subtle differences. For instance, rather than lean, read as slightly "cuddly". Striding manfully may perhaps translate more closely to "plodding along wheezily". Also, I say "run" but the truth is walking interspersed with short bursts of running. Sod it, it's a start. To be fair though, this approach is part of a well thought out (by other people, thank you internet) plan.
I'm not fit. That's a simple statement of fact. There's no way I'm going to head out and immediately be able to run for half an hour solid. Therefore, I looked up a sort of graded introduction to running, building up over time.
The Plan
Week
Run 2 minutes, walk 4 (x5)
Run 3 minutes, walk 3 (x5)
Run 5 minutes, walk 2 1/2 (x4)
Run 7 minutes, walk 3 (x3)
Run 8 minutes, walk 2 (x3)
Run 9 minutes, walk 1 (x2) then run 8, walk2
Run 9 minutes, walk 1 (x3)
Run 13 minutes, walk 2 (x2)
Run 14 minutes, walk 1 (x2)
Run 30 minutes
The object is to try and do these 3 or 4 times a week.Whether or not I manage, I don't know. Week 10, without any form of break in the half hour will be a test. After this period, I'll be looking to try and extend the time and distance that I'm running. Seems simple. More likely painfull, but as many people (fitter than me) say, "No pain, no gain!". I suspect these people to be friendless arseholes mind you.
