Chapter 9: In which a gym membership is (finally) purchased

So then, the joys of springtime in Scotland for someone starting out on a course of exercise. You get up in the morning, have a look out and realise it has snowed again. I've read several people on forums and blogs elsewhere talking about how refreshing and nice it is to get out and run in fresh snow. These people are fit. These people are the enemy. OK, they're not the enemy, and many of them are very friendly and encouraging, but I bet they're secretly out there, frolicking through the snow, feeling smug.

In the past two weeks, I've managed a total of two runs. I think you could safely call that a setback to my grand plans of gaining fitness. Similar to the last couple of posts, the weather hasn't particularly helped with my efforts (or lack there of), and also, my get up and go, got up and went. I got lazy. Now, granted this week has been spent on holiday (didn't go anywhere for the curious, just didn't go to work) and this entitles me to a certain degree of lazy idleness. I have made full use of this entitlement and definately got my monies worth.

So, we come around to the whole point of the last blog post again, and I quote "I'm joining the gym".

Actually, we can now move that into the past tense. I've joined the gym. I went along this morning and signed up, and I've got my induction on Monday. I could probably have arranged it for sooner, but figured I might as well get all the laziness out of me over the weekend. I think, I'll get the induction period over, then return to the running program. Had a bit of a tour of the facilities today. The equipment all looks like it will do the trick. Not entirely sure what some of it is, but there you go. Cardio equipment upstairs, weights downstairs, free weights in a seperate room.

I'll not be going in there. Ever.

And no, I don't lift.

Anyhoo, since I've gotten into the habit of chucking a song onto the end of this gibberish now, here's the latest one:

Trivia fact of the week:

I spent roughly 15 years where one of my biggest regrets was never seeing the Foo Fighters. Until I realised I had seen them at Donnington in 96. Memory is terrible when you were pished.

Chapter 8: In which a decision is made.

Second week in a row with very little effort to show for it. Got up on Monday, early doors, and went out for a run, but I haven't been out since then. Woke up early today, looked out the window, and went back to bed. Snowing again. It may be too late in the year now to quote Game Of  Thrones and say that "winter is coming", but it sure as hell doesn't seem to be in a hurry to go away again.

This leads me to the decision I've taken:

I'm joining the gym.

You can all stop laughing now. Frankly, it's the only sensible option. I just don't have the fitness levels to be outside toiling away through blizzards. I'm struggling to run in nice(ish) weather at the moment. Plus, I live about 300 yards away from one of South Lanarkshire Council's fine establishments. I say, fine, this is an assumption though as I've not been along yet. It could be a rat infested shithole for all I actually know, although, running away from rats could serve as a decent form of motivation. I'm assuming it's fine though.

I recently took Sky Sports and Movies off my cable package, so the money saved from that can fund the gymness. Money previously spent watching other people run, will now fund me to get off my arse and do it for myself. That's logic youngsters.

I'm off work on a weeks holiday next week, so among the many grand schemes I shall have on the go, will be the whole going along and signing my life away taking out a gym membership. Previous experience of gyms brings memories of overly fit instructors trying to force you onto the various torture devices one after the other, so I expect a large part of my first visit will consist of finding polite ways to tell them to bugger off as I just want a go of the treadmills since it's pissing down outside. Sure, maybe later down the line I'll try out the myriad of other fun ways to make yourself hurt, but just now I think I'll stick to the basics. Baby steps and that.

Anyway, continuing my recent trend of gratuitous music videos, here's another one:

Chapter 7: In which nothing much has happened all week

This week has been a bit of a let down. I was working early all week, so set the alarm clock even earlier. Monday morning, 5:30am, the alarm goes off, I get up, look out the window, go back to bed. Bloody snow. Tuesday wasn't much better when I woke up again.

Wednesday I didn't even try.

Thursday was just a write off. I woke up around 2.30am, tried to get back to sleep, failed, and by the time I had planned to go out and have a run, I was far too tired for anything. By the time I started my work at 8:30am, I'd already been awake for around 6 hours and was expecting lunch already. By the time I'd finished work I was ready to go to bed, but couldn't or I'd just end up waking up at stupid o'clock again. Smashing.

Friday morning was about eking out as much sleep before work as possible.

I feel quite bad that I've not been out trying to run so far this week, and that in itself is a vast improvement on my outlook. I'm naturally a lazy bastard, so the fact that I've not tried to exercise is bothering me is definately a sign of progress. Or the apocalypse. One or the other.

Incidentally, regarding the snow: why is it mostly people in 4x4s who are incapable of driving in it? Get a bloody grip and learn to use your vehicle properly. If you insist on owning one of these non essesntial bastards (in an urban environment, obviously they can be essential in some places), then figure out how the damn thing works. This is Scotland, not Norway, it's only a couple of inches of snow. Don't get me started on the news reporting on the snow "chaos" down south either. If it doesnt come over the top of a pair of trainers, then you've no excuses.

Confession Time

The attempt to go an entire month without ordering pizza has been a failure. I know, you're not angry, just disappointed. Or don't really care. Sometimes you come home from work of an evening and just can't face cooking though, and damn it was tasty. And half price, which helped a lot. Still, I'm well down on my usual monthly pizza quota, so I'm still ahead on average.

Anyhoo, the plan is now to get up early tomorrow (Saturday) and get at least one attempt at exercise in before the week is over. I'm off to bed.

Chapter 6: In which the original schedule is scrapped

So then, I'm writing this after my second run this week, and the first I've done on a new running schedule. The breakdown that appears on my first post is out the window, and I've opted instead to switch to the NHS Couch to 5K routine. There are a few reasons for this, but the main ones are:

• it's got a proven track record of getting people up and running
• there's free podcasts to listen to as you run which sort all your timing out for you, leading to...
• no more fannying about with my watch, in the dark, with gloves on.

One thing to note about the actual podcast though. Previous running soundtracks I have made to run to have featured mostly rock, punk, some metal & industrial, and 80s pop (yes, 80's pop. That's when I grew up, and it's the soundtrack of my childhood, so bugger off and stop judging :p   I've had bloody Ultravox stuck in my head for three days solid now mind you). The music on these is your standard shopping mall generic dancey pop. Not my taste at all, but inoffensive in it's own way. Beats mucking around trying to see my watch though.

Music aside, an awful LOT of folk have used this series to get up and out, so it seems to work, and that's why I'm making the switch to it. In addition, the actual run's themselves are quite varied and give a good build up, so there we go. Have a look. I'm going to jump in at week 3 on it and see how I get on with that, as I'm in the extended week 2 of the previous schedule. If necessary (looking at run 3, week 5) I'll redo individual weeks until my fitness improves. I really don't remember this running stuff being as difficult when I was wee.

Other things to note this time around:

• It's now almost 2 whole weeks since payday, and I've managed to avoid ordering a pizza. It's killing me though. I'm lazy and willpower is not one of my strongpoints.
• The Walking Dead just gets better and better. I'm pretty much convinced that zombie apocalypse is how the world will eventually end, and this running stuff ties in nicely to that. I do not want to be lunch. Rule no. 1 people - Cardio.

Anyway, here's some 80s pop for you:

Chapter 5: In which we mention Yoda

Do, or do not. There is no try...

The famous words of Yoda, Jedi Master, inspiration to the galaxy at large. I was reading an article in the Guardian's running blog about documentaries, and that prompted me to watch a film called 'Spirit of the Marathon' which follows some runners, of various level of ability, as they build up to running the Chicago Marathon. Now, first and foremost, even if you don't like running it's a pretty good film, and I recommend giving it a watch. Secondly, in it one of the people (I don't want to call them characters) discusses his attitude towards running a marathon, and says that the only real failure is in not trying in the first place. Contradicting everything I learned from Yoda. Turns out there is 'try' after all. Worldview - shattered. This got me thinking about Yoda's words in the first place. I grew up watching Star Wars. I'll make no secret of the fact I'm a big geek. What if after all this time, my lazy outlook is because Yoda has instilled in me an attitude to not even try if I don't think I can do something? Turns out Yoda was a bit of a dick. Don't worry, nerd police, I'm not being serious. You don't have to confiscate my geek card.

On to other matters then. This has not been a good week for my new found life as a born again runner. I've only been out for my second run of the week today, and have been feeling pretty run down and tired all week. I have a suspicion that this can be linked directly to my shift pattern this week though, as I've been working back shifts, finishing at 10pm all week. The other option of course is that it's just my overall fitness level being akin to that of a blancmange. Whenever I'm on these shifts I never seem to eat proper meals, existing on a diet mostly consisting of sandwiches. Due to this, my week two running schedule will be extended another week, as I'd already been thinking of doing, and mentioned in the previous blog. With an overall aim of improving general fitness, and the only organised run I've (ever) entered being in October, I can afford to take my time with building up my running times.

 Anyhoo, keep on rocking in the free world.

Ally.